I hope everybody had a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I took a break last month to refocus and rest. It was great. I was able to spend some quality time with Roxana. We didn't travel this past holiday. We stayed at home to make it a holiday of just me and her. We had some wonderful times and enjoyed every second of our time. Our relationship is growing stronger with every moment that passes. We treasure our time together today just like it has been for 15 years.
One thing I have to work on this year is to better manage the feeling of frustration and sadness. This is caused by the abrupt change that happened in my life since the injury. At times I think that it probably was better if I couldn't remember how I was pre-injury. But that is not my reality. I remember exactly how I was. I remember having photographic memory, I remember not having to open a book to get an A in college, I remember reading a 600 page book in a few nights, I remember running 8 miles a day, I remember how successful I was. Looking at this I can see is a pretty hard truth to swallow. I've been adjusting my life to make it as enjoyable as it can get. I'm comfortable with it. After adjusting my life the harder part is seeing it as a new normal. Sometimes I think I can do things as if nothing happened and I fail. This adjustments seem to never stop. I have to remind me every day to use cognitive strateegies. It seems at time like it doesn't sink in. All this adjustments bring a daily frustration and sadness. I wouldn't call it depression, I am resilient and avoid being disengaged from things and people. I see the reality and I'm conscious of my limitations. The frustration and sadness takes a toll in my relationships because as much as I try to leave it outside the house it comes in with me. I try to hide it but Roxana knows me to well to know that I'm not ok. If you have dealt witha Traumatic Brain Injury survivor you know that we can't control some things. This is a resolution I have for this new year. To cope and manage the frustration better so it don't affect my relationships.
In other subjects, I'm back in full force and energized to keep pushing with this mission. My goal is to be able to help as many people as I can. To come up with innovative ideas to bring together the TBI community. I have in plans the establishment of a foundation among many other things. Just by stopping by and reading this blog is a great support to me and many others. Together we can make a better world for those families surviving brain injuries.
Thank you!
IT WILL GET BETTER
*** This blog is part of http://www.tbiwarrior.com
Victor Medina
"IT WILL ALL GET BETTER"
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Hi Victor,
ReplyDeleteI am a TBI survivor, too, and recently started writing a blog about my injury and recovery (http://fractured-myheadinjuryjournal.blogspot.com/). I was glad to find your blog, as well as others like it. I see so much of myself in what you're going through, and I empathize completely. I also struggle with the "new normal" concept; sometimes I fight it, other times I let go and just be. You are lucky to have a supportive partner. I wouldn't have the strength to get through this if it wasn't for my husband. I will continue to read your posts, as they help me a great deal to know that I am not alone in this.
Best Regards,
Tori
So glad things are going great for you. Wonderful!
ReplyDeleteBeing a member of the brain injury club, I do believe that we have to grieve the loss of our old selves. It is a real death.
I would suggest to you that you resolve to feel,express and channel your frustration rather than cope and manage it.
Frustration can be a powerful motivator. It can also enrich and allow your relationships to be more authentic and intimate when expressed honestly.
It is not only about you learning to deal with it better. It is also about the people around you learning to receive it and just allow it.
I think the most difficult part of being a TBI survivor is accepting the new normal, I am grateful to be alive and my physical disabilities I can live with, but I am angry that I have spent seven years of my adult life (starting at age 50) working on first my BA then my MA and now I cannot use either one! I was soaring like an eagle, so happy to be doing something that I really loved (Art History) and now I have my wings clipped. So I take my frustration and put it into my advocacy work for the Native Americans and the Pine Ridge Reservation, my painting, and I think I may start working on developing a program here to get the officers in blue into an awareness training on TBI's.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a good support system, so I go much of this alone, but I am feisty, and a darn Yankee to boot! So I will succeed!
As I discovered recently, BJ, you are not alone. And even if you don't have an immediate support group around you, there are so many others out there like you who can become your support group. Like you, since my TBI, I haven't been able to use my college degrees to their full extent or continue my career and life path in the same way as before. But also like you, I have channelled them in other directions. The fact that you are doing good for others should give you immense satisfaction. After all, maybe we just weren't meant to continue on the paths we were on before our TBIs? I believe that if we look at them a little differently, we can find that they have opened new doors and new paths for us in our lives, hopefully in a way that is still enriching and helpful to ourselves and others. Best, Tori
ReplyDeleteWOW I just read all the postes and first of all I want to say WECOME BACK VICTOR! We missed you but I am so happy you had your time with Roxana. God Bless you both!
ReplyDeleteAnd for the rest of you, God put you here for a purpose and I love how you all seem so positive. We will all make it better for those that can't do and feel like we do. Hopefully in time our many fellow TBI's will come around and see how they can be support to others. Thank you, all of you.
hey all I got a tbi. I had have'n trouble accepting my new reality but it is a daily thing.
ReplyDeleteThanks this is really helpful. My dealings have been pleasurable and positive experiences.
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